my vag is so smooth its legendary
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
