sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
