physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
