The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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