I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
These tits shall not be calmed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
