she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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