im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
