stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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