your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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