the condom got lost in my hair
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
