found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
