I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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