i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I know her cup size but not her name....
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