Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My liver just broke up with me...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
we should paint friendship bongs
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