I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize