Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
