I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
