I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize