He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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