But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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