Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
