the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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