My first STD was from a foam party
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
