How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
