I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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