So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
