At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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