I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
