you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
