No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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