no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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