I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
