i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
