he puts the penis in happiness.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
