Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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