My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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