That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
