WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
