Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
