Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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