you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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