I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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