You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
