Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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