You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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