Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize