Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
