My room smells like vodka and shame
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
