Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
