I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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