why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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