Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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