And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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