I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I love having hate sex.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
