Christians are straight up FREAKS
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
