yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
