the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
