Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

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(760): View more from California

I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass

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(516): View more from New York

Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina

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