those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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