apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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