I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
