Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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