Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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